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“Had I not created my whole world, I most certainly would have died in other people’s.” - Anais Nin |
| |  | | Art was my first passion, my first safe space, a friend to pass lonely days with, and one I could even take with me when we moved, and moved, and moved again.
It was definitely true love.
Or so I thought.
Decades later I often feel delusional (you kind of have to be if you’re a professional artist!) because one moment art feels like the absolute best thing in the world for me and at other times, I desperately want to give it up, but can’t. Being an artist can feel like being stuck in a toxic relationship. It requires a lot of me and doesn’t provide much in the way of security.
In all my frustration, I’ve had to stop and reflect. Is art the problem or am I?
I’ve actually spent the last few months giving this a lot of thought. I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want to “keep the love alive” I’m going to have to make some changes in my creative and business practice. So far I’ve tried (and mostly failed) at making certain changes, but have also (mostly) succeeded at adjusting my attitude and perspective around what I can bring to the world without burning out. |
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Some may joke that I like to punish myself when it comes to painting because I do tend to try things I don’t really know how to do yet, but I prefer the word “challenge” over “punish.” I don’t think creating should feel like a terrible chore, but I do find that, for me personally, if I’m not challenged in some way I eventually lose interest. I like to set my goals a wee bit high, but high enough to reach…if I’m on my tippy toes. |
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This piece was both fun and challenging because I have never painted this texture before and wanted to sort of imply it without painting literal photorealistic stitches. It was also a challenge because I did not take the source photo myself and couldn’t control lighting so I needed to work primarily from my head in order to achieve what I wanted in the finished piece. I’ve never really cared about Valentine’s Day, and wasn’t planning a piece for it specifically, but instantly fell head over heels with this idea (which was not original to me) and needed to put it to canvas asap.
Thank you Kazclops, who created her incredible heart balaclava and gave me permission to use her photo as inspiration. Artists inspire other artists, and so the unbreakable cord of love (aka insanity) continues. |
| | Love is Seasonal (Sometimes) |
| I didn’t send a January newsletter because, well, I didn’t want to. So far 2025 has delivered a few lovely things like snow days and travels, and not lovely things like seasonal depression, sick days, fascism, oligarchy, the threat of economic collapse, a handful of anxiety attacks, AND my incredible therapist moving away (Why now? Nooooo!) just to keep things interesting.
Since January is 100 days long though, I did still manage to finish this piece and I think she turned out quite lovely, largely due to my stunning model, Janea, and a pretty inspiring tree. If you’re a new subscriber you can read a little bit about the inspiration for this piece here. |
|  | (In November, 24”x30”, Oil on Canvas) |
| This painting was accepted into an upcoming local art show, Faces & Figures, A National Juried Exhibition, at Fredericksburg Center for the Creative Arts and will be available for viewing/purchase at the gallery. Some of the other artists and I will be there at 6pm, March 7th, for the opening reception and jurors comments. I would love to see you there!
Faces & Figures (March 1-28) First Friday Reception - March 7, 6-8pm Fredericksburg Center for the Creative Arts 813 Sophia St Fredericksburg, VA 22401
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| | Love is Bold… and Vulnerable |
| I feel incredibly honored to have my self portrait, In Her Nature, accepted into an upcoming show, The Female Gaze at Da Vinci Art Alliance gallery in Philadelphia. There were 361 submissions and it’s a privilege to have my work alongside the 47 pieces that were chosen.
This exhibition is dedicated to self-portraits by women and femme artists and challenges traditional representations of women in art. It’s purpose is to highlight how female artists navigate, interrogate, and reclaim their identities through their own artistic perspectives. Throughout history, women have been portrayed largely by and for the heterosexual male. The female gaze, by contrast, presents women with agency, complexity and depth.
I find the pieces and themes of this show deeply moving and I hope you’ll take a moment to view the entire collection here. |
|  | (In Her Nature, Oil on Canvas, Not for Sale)
Since my solo show, this piece has remained hidden in my closet. I felt it had already served it’s purpose, but after giving it some serious thought, I decided The Female Gaze exhibition was a good reason to bring it out again.
If you know my background at all, you may understand how hard it was for me to pose for, paint, and display this piece in the first place. I had so much anxiety over the thought of sharing it with the public. I wondered if people would misunderstand it or me, or criticize or sexualize my body. People very well may have done all those things, but it remained on display for a month and I survived. I wanted so desperately to explain, apologize, hide whatever I found unlovely, but a large part of the project was acceptance without apology. |
| | Love is Right in Front of You |
| I hate to admit it but after 20ish years, Fredericksburg seems to have grown on me. (Clearly I take my time, lol.) I have always been filled with wanderlust, and the idea of staying put felt a bit like giving up. Virginia was never meant to be my permanent stop.
Yet…
I’ve noticed a gradual shift over the last few years in my art revealing something internal taking place, not just an acceptance but an appreciation for what I have, and where I am. I think perhaps I’ve read too much Mary Oliver because I have slowly come to find more and more contentment in my own backyard, so to speak. Perhaps I was too busy pining in my youth to notice the beauty right beneath my feet. |
|  | Above is a recent card I designed/illustrated in Procreate inspired by my walks to the pond near our house. It’s nothing special. A very ordinary little place I’ve passed a hundred times, but I find it comforting. I always look for the heron. I also added hibiscus which grows all around the edge of the pond each Summer. I’ve spent a lot of time there over the years, good days and bad. Here are some of my photos from the pond. |
|  | | | I recently digitally reworked an old piece to create a sticker for a fundraiser. All proceeds go to RAICES, an organization providing legal and social services to immigrants and advocating for a more compassionate immigration system in the U.S.
You can purchase a sticker here. Thank you to those who have participated so far!
Do small acts of kindness feel insignificant? Sure, but what is the alternative? |
|  | | Love is (Hopefully) Reciprocal |
| This year is going to be hard in a lot of ways for a lot of people, so I’ve decided to spread a little cheer by giving art away once a month for all of 2025. I already selected January’s winner, but you can head over to my insta each month where I’ll post what’s up for grabs. The monthly drawing is only available to email subscribers as a huge THANK YOU for being here! I appreciate your support and am happy to share a little love right back at ya. (Not on insta but still wanna participate? I got you. Just respond to this email and I’ll add your name to the next round.) |
| | | SHOWS
Severance, Season 2, Apple TV
Sometimes you have to trade out the current dystopian hellscape you’re living in for the one on tv, for fun.
BOOKS
All About Love: New Visions, bell hooks
This is the second book I’ve read by bell hooks and I feel like it was a mixed bag with plenty of gems. Since this was written in 1999, some language does feel dated, but the overall body of her work around intersectionality, patriarchy, feminism, and children’s rights always feels necessary, and her chapter on greed and corruption in authoritarian leadership feels all too relevant. I do not personally align with all her views on religion, appreciate her advising people to reach out to their estranged abusers (no thanks!), or benefit from her chapter on angels (I skipped it) but I’m still glad I read this book and feel she has so much wisdom to impart.
Love is a verb, a revolutionary and sometimes rebellious act, a solution - one that requires a great deal of effort, self acceptance, healing, and awareness. Dammit, that sounds hard.
Shy Creatures, Clare Chambers
I went in completely blind with this one, choosing it solely for the cover art, and was so delighted to have made the right call. Set in London in the 1960s, this story follows an art therapist and a recluse, both of whom carry their own separate burdens of holding on to deep secrets and shame. Not a love story (in the traditional sense) yet full of love. Extra points for a happy ending. We all need those sometimes.
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| |  | “I shall but love thee better after death.” - Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
| | While horrors abound, I leave you with this:
“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.” - Mary Oliver
If you enjoyed this newsletter, please reach out and/or send it to someone you love.
Work in progress, always and anyways, dolly
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